Andy Ewing » Funny

The New Puppy

Andy Ewing — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:32:19 +0000

Oh, and you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the White House:

…to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn…we will defeat you. Puppy power.

Think about the Sock Puppets!

Andy Ewing — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:24:54 +0000

Where’s sock puppet’s bailout?

Sneezes

Andy Ewing — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 02:52:16 +0000

I always fear losing control of my car when I sneeze, and it looks like one guy did:

Lawrence Callahan of the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation said Hanson told him that after he sneezed, “the next thing he knew he was in the river.”

Chuck Norris and the Financial Crisis

Andy Ewing — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:59:03 +0000

If you like Chuck Norris jokes and follow the current financial crisis news, then this is for you! My personal favorites are “Chuck Norris doesn’t mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.” and ” Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.”

Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window
Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch
Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted
Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge . He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.
Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.
The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.
Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.
Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris “The Maestro.”
Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc.
Chuck Norris doesn’t borrow at the Fed’s discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed’s discount window.
There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded.
Chuck Norris doesn’t buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.
Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing – And guarantees its deposits.
Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.
When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.
Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.
Chuck Norris isn’t a market maker; he IS the market.
Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value.

Thanks, BJ!

A-ha

Andy Ewing — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:44:18 +0000

In case you haven’t seen it yet, this video is burning up the internet:

The best part is that this song played at my wedding reception! I wonder how many guests thought of the video?

I wonder if this would happen to Layla?

Andy Ewing — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:50:18 +0000

I Feel Safer Knowing This…

Andy Ewing — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:12:37 +0000

The Washington State Troopers have been named the best dressed patrol in the nation, giving me such a warm and fuzzy feeling inside:

The patrol, which has been wearing the peaked hats and distinctive bow ties for about 70 years, recently was named America’s “Best-Dressed State Law Enforcement Agency” by the National Association of Uniform Manufacturers and Distributors.

Link to the article.